Monday, April 20, 2009
If you give your cat some tuna fish, he'll want it again the next morning.
If you don't give it to him the next morning, you'll wake up to find him staring at you.
If you find him staring at you, you may also find the dog jumping around because he doesn't like the cat on the bed.
If you push the cat off the bed, then the dog is going to chase him down the hall.
After the dog chases the cat down the hall, he'll come back and bark to get you out of the bed.
If you don't get out of bed immediately, the dog will thrust his 80 lb. body halfway upon the bed and give another bark.
Once you get out of bed, you'll see the dog and cat sitting somewhat close to each other, waiting and staring at you!
When you stumble down the stairs, the dog might trip you on his way down to beat you to the bottom. Same with the cat.
After you catch yourself and let the dog outside, the cat will begin to circle your legs and meow, loudly.
While ignoring him and getting your first cup of coffee, you notice there's no milk. As you walk to the fridge, your cat stands boldly in front of you.
After you trip over him to get the milk, you pour it into your cream pitcher and place it beside the coffee maker.
As you drink your first cup, you hear the dog scratching at the door. Walking to the door, you let him in and are relived the cat is no longer bugging the crap out of you.
After the dog comes barrelling in, you notice something out of the corner of your eye.
It's the cat on the kitchen counter, drinking milk from the cream pitcher, soy no less!
While racing to the kitchen and yelling at him to stop, he jumps down and the dog chases him up the stairs.
Feeling like your head is going to blow off, you dump the cat contaminated milk from the cream pitcher and put it in the dishwasher.
While searching for another cream pitcher with a narrow opening, you hear the cat meowing, again, loudly.
Finally, you break down, give him the bloody tuna fish, feed the dog and get another cup of coffee.
So ... if you ignore your cat and don't give him the tuna fish, he'll drink your soy milk out of your cream pitcher.
P.S. No cat was mistreated in this scenario.